David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
tell me about the eggs
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
