you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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