My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
