we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
