yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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