I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
