i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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