Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i can't believe i had my finger in that
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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