she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
