my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm jealous of your bromance
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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