I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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