At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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