Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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