I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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