your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize