you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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