He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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