No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
