Can Purell be used as lube?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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