Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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