idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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