The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
