she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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