..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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