Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
