My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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