You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
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He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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