Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I CAN MOONWALK!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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