Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose

  (214): View more from Texas

  962=my?

  (972): View more from Texas

  Yeah.i

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  (972): Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose (214): 962=my? (972): Yeah.i http://tfl.nu/5itb
  Replies (12) Good night (2766) Bad night (819)
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  (315): View more from New York

  We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."

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  (315): We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah." http://tfl.nu/z1lt
  Replies (82) Good night (1519) Bad night (21987)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis

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  (978): i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis http://tfl.nu/3jq7
  Replies (8) Good night (899) Bad night (3935)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.

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  (815): There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream. http://tfl.nu/rule
  Replies (12) Good night (5269) Bad night (772)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.

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  (513): So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand. http://tfl.nu/k6dt
  Replies (26) Good night (6750) Bad night (1327)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.

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  (317): Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex. http://tfl.nu/7i2a
  Replies (15) Good night (1123) Bad night (4177)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.

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  (256): Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence. http://tfl.nu/20hw
  Replies (6) Good night (2358) Bad night (1037)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot

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  (+44): Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot http://tfl.nu/c6sc
  Replies (2) Good night (2377) Bad night (813)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days

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  (604): Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days (1-604): Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days http://tfl.nu/vv75
  Replies (2) Good night (702) Bad night (306)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes

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  (780): Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes http://tfl.nu/7wy7
  Replies (6) Good night (483) Bad night (758)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave

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  (814): I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave http://tfl.nu/mtmf
  Replies (5) Good night (346) Bad night (868)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.

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  (609): I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room. http://tfl.nu/he9i
  Replies (8) Good night (595) Bad night (560)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...

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  (970): he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands... http://tfl.nu/z4i5
  Replies (2) Good night (272) Bad night (459)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"

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  (757): And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!" http://tfl.nu/qrns
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.

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  (580): I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her. http://tfl.nu/o5ak
  Replies (6) Good night (628) Bad night (237)

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