Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.

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(573): i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina. http://tfl.nu/5va6

Replies (40) Good night (3682) Bad night (1095)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.

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(519): Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out. http://tfl.nu/jzw3

Replies (19) Good night (674) Bad night (4336)
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(970): View more from Colorado

The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.

(352): View more from Florida

I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.

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(970): The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency. (352): I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial. http://tfl.nu/wg41

Replies (28) Good night (7290) Bad night (740)
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(256): View more from Alabama

My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.

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(256): My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred. http://tfl.nu/j0t5

Replies (18) Good night (3911) Bad night (1014)
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(813): View more from Florida

watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...

(863): View more from Florida

Can I come live with you?

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(813): watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC... (863): Can I come live with you? http://tfl.nu/y56x

Replies (21) Good night (5550) Bad night (1079)
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(708): View more from Illinois

He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain

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(708): He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain http://tfl.nu/7dwy

Replies (4) Good night (3121) Bad night (861)
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(607): View more from New York

no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.

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(607): no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not. http://tfl.nu/m099

Replies (4) Good night (3554) Bad night (729)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.

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(337): He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share. http://tfl.nu/463q

Replies (2) Good night (2119) Bad night (869)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.

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(859): Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss. http://tfl.nu/wyge

Replies (12) Good night (4255) Bad night (1042)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight

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(616): Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight http://tfl.nu/1hmk

Replies (3) Good night (901) Bad night (404)
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(760): View more from California

This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes

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(760): This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes http://tfl.nu/v44x

Replies (2) Good night (1146) Bad night (489)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him

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(484): you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him http://tfl.nu/re5m

Replies (1) Good night (812) Bad night (312)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.

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(615): I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code. http://tfl.nu/vsgs

Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (229)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over

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(202): just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over http://tfl.nu/f4tt

Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (214)
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(949): View more from California

It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.

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(949): It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process. http://tfl.nu/bbcc

Replies (8) Good night (945) Bad night (236)

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