Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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