What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
