You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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