you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
