The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
