You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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