): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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