found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
