dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
