11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
