tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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