You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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