and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
