You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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