i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
