he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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