i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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