dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize