i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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