Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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