She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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