I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
