You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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