She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
