how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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