careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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