My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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