she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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