I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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