Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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