party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize