end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
