I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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